Vacation Sara

IMG_0089.jpg

As this first work week back from vacation comes to a close, I would like to formally submit my transfer request to return to vacation forever and ever. A weird thing happens every time I go on vacation. I'm overcome by a delusion that one week away will change me permanently into Vacation Sara. Vacation Sara is fun. She is carefree and spontaneous and silly and says yes to all things that bring delight. She leaves her phone plugged in at the house all day. Her circle is small. She laughs freely. She is always ready for ice cream. She wanders on the beach and feels her feelings and lets them be messy. She reads books. So many books! She gets tan and looks healthy and feels good about the future. I like Vacation Sara. So when I meet her again, I get sucked into believing that I can be Vacation Sara all the time. I usually make it a few days, until The Monday After Vacation. Then I open my inbox and I've missed 3 deadlines, someone is mad, I have more work to accomplish than I can do in 3 Mondays, the dog poops on the rug, the toddler poops in his bed, there's no groceries and simply not enough coffee on the planet. And Regular Stressed Out Sara comes back with a guttural roar. I whined to my husband last night that while on vacation I am unflappable, and that restful feeling has to last me until the next vacation (they are few and far between!) and I should not be this ABSOLUTELY FLAPPED ON THE THE FIRST DAY BACK. But that's the thing. I'm not a vacation person all the time. I can't be. And the first Monday back after a restful vacation is always going to be a rude awakening. I can't stay on vacation forever. But I can grab onto moments of Vacation Sara when they present themselves. A weekend afternoon, a nice glass of wine, an evening campfire, a break in the day to snuggle my son, a long walk with my dog... these glimpses into my vacation self are plenty to get me through if I grab enough of them.

Sara McNallyComment